No fluff. No excuses. Just brutal honesty about your metrics.
Stop pretending your startup is fine. Roaster pulls your actual numbers - users, revenue, churn, burn - and gives it to you straight. Honest critiques. Actionable fixes. Every Monday morning.
Start Your Roast
We dissect your CAC, LTV, and burn rate. Nothing hides. Nothing gets sugar-coated. You get the analysis you're avoiding.
How do you stack against others in your space? We show you the gap. Sometimes it's smaller than you think. Often it's not.
We don't just roast. Every critique comes with 3 tactical moves you can execute this week. Pickup: hard. Execution: your job.
Pull your metrics from Stripe, Segment, or direct import. 5 minutes max.
Our system audits your health. Compares to your cohort. Finds the gaps.
Monday morning, inbox. Unvarnished. Specific. Not mean - useful.
You decide. But you can't say nobody warned you what to fix.
All plans include full metric roasts, week over week.
For solopreneurs who can handle the truth.
For founders who need their board on the same brutal page.
Register interest
This is not a purchase and there is no card field. It puts your address, this product, and whatever you write below in front of a person, and you get a written answer about what finishing it, or handing it over for you to run yourself, would actually take.